Today I met one of my associates who besides has become a really good friend of mine. He called me yesterday after the breakup and it really helped talking to him about it.
So today we met in a park and we talked through it again, it felt really good to just let all my thoughts and espacially anger out.
After that I went to my neighbour who recently got back from abord. Long Story short: he and I used to date and we have been together until he cheated on me and went abord one year with that bitch.
But the crazy thing about him is that everytime I see him I get this feeling. This feeling that I would do nothing more likely than just be with him although I know what he did to me. He got this attraction I can't resist.
And the crazy thing about it is that his girlfriend cheated on him three times and they broke up. So when I was at his place we went through old memories and things heated up between us..he kept asking me: "gravity or fun?" My heart was racing faster like everytime I see him and we kissed. It felt so right but at the same time really wrong because it would actually BE WRONG falling for him again. Because of this I interrupted and stopped kissing him. After that we just layed there for a while staring at each other but then he started to undress me. I stopped him again beacause thats not what I wanted espacially because of yesterdey, when my boyfriend broke up with me. But it wasn't weird between us, I guess thats just because we've known each other for 9 years and it happened so much. I think I need to get some distance from him for a while otherwise I can't clear my head because all I think about at the moment is him.
Just a song from Anastacia representing my feelings very well.
A little late for all the things you didn't say
I'm not sad for you
But I'm sad for all the time I had to waste
'Cause I learned the truth
Your heart is in a place I no longer want to be
I knew there'd come a day I'd set you free 'cause
I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired